New Year's Resolutions

First of all - Merry belated Christmas!

Due to weather I ended up with an unexpected stopover in Aberdeen for two days, but it was lovely. I've been home for a week now. I don't know what's in store for when I return to Glasgow on the 5th.

Anyway - that time again! New Year's Resolutions in the hope they might happen. Here we are again, with the ones I made last year:

Get a new job.

(Kept: no, but efforts made)
Same as last year, a couple of interviews but nothing yet. Hopefully 2013 will bring a change, even if it's by way of an admission to a Masters.

Learn to drive.

(Kept: nope.)

New paper licence finally acquired, but due to monetary restrictions have been unable to actually book any lessons. Hope to do so in the new year.

Open a savings account.

(Kept: yes)

Alas, I proceeded to spend all the money I got. Oh well.

Renew my passport.

(Kept: yes.)

Oh yeah :D I think, if I can pull together the money, that a little weekend abroad might be in order for next year. 

Go to the dentist.

(Kept: HAH!)
Moving on...

Live a little.

(Kept: no.)

Again, if I succeed with learning to drive and getting a new job, that might help.

Get a new hobby.

(Kept: no.)

Poi spinning fell spectacularly by the wayside. Will try again in the new year.

Go and visit Auntie Iz in her new place.

(Kept: yes.)

Visit Arran and / or Bute.

(Kept: no.)

Again, might have been easier if I'd learned to drive. Hopefully this year, since I have no concrete plans beyond the Folk Festival. 

That's three out of nine kept, poor show! Six I'm carrying into the new year with me, along with the hope of getting into one of the Masters courses I applied for. 

Have a good new year, everyone!

Instagram

I'm going to take time out from the usual blog subjects to talk about finally 'discovering' this app that seems to be all the rage.

In all honesty, Instagram was not an app I previously felt the need to get. I do have friends and acquaintances who are also signed up to it. I'm not gonna bang on that I 'didn't feel the need to follow the trend', because anyone who knows me knows what my online presence is like. I spend too much time on Facebook and Twitter, and back in the days of Myspace and (shudder) Bebo I was addicted to those too. Being owner of a smartphone - a pebble blue Samsung Galaxy SIII, no less - I finally got bored one sleepless night and decided that I would see what all the fuss was about.

For those of you who've been hiding in a cave since this app came into being, Matthew Inman of The Oatmeal summed it up perfectly in this comic, and the legends behind College Humor summed it up with this:

 


That's all it is. Just an app to take photos with, which was one of the things that put me off getting it in the first place anyway. Yes, you can add filters to enhance an image, make it look bleaker or brighter...and that's it. I won't lie, I've only really just gotten started on it in the last couple of days and I'm bored already. The first photo is just me in my Cookie Monster hat (which has been getting a lot of wear with the increasingly cold weather). This was the first photo I took, using a filter on my phone's camera:

 

Nice hat, eh? I know, I love it. You want one? You can buy it here, along with matching mittens (which I also have, although be warned - you can do bugger all wearing them. You'll at least be warm though). Then I decided I'd give it a try through Instagram. This is the orignal snap I took:




And here it is Instragrammed:




Yes, I do agree, it looks nice with that filter, although I look paler than usual. But to be honest, I couldn't tell you the filter I used on it because I genuinely can't tell half of them apart. There's at least two black and white ones, and three '70s / Polaroid looking ones, and that filter I used, as I said, was also one of three. They're not even just called 'black and white' or 'sepia'. Seems pointless. That said, I'll probably still use it just because I can. If anyone feels inclined to follow me, my username is 'wirhannah'.

Brrrr!

In recent years I have come to the conclusion that my new-found life as a city slicker has left me more susceptible to cold temperatures than ever before.

Tenement flats in Glasgow are the biggest culprits for crap insulation. I've lived in four since moving here (this one included) and every year it's been unbearably cold.

As for me, I'm still applying for jobs, still getting fed up with the market, still trying to get my finger out with regards to going back to uni. It's all a bit scary right now.

Yet more projects

It's been too long since I had an update that was worthwhile posting, so here we go again.

Basically, due to the restructure happening at The Paid Job, the hours have dried up significantly. As a result, money is very tight. I've usually well and truly started my Christmas shopping by this point but I've been entirely unable to. Therefore the driving lessons idea has gone up the swanny for now. They'll have to wait until the new year. Oh well.

I've also applied for a full time position with my paid job, in the hope that I can raise some money.

On top of this, I've finally started a couple of post grad applications for creative writing courses, and have also applied to the JET programme to go and teach English in Japan for a year. Fingers crossed, then.

Best Laid Plans

I know it's early yet, but this time last year I had a lot of plans for the year coming - two weddings, Folk Festival, Tom Petty (:D) and some other stuff. Now at this time, I currently have little if anything on the agenda.

I have, however, kept one new year's resolution, which was to finally replace my licence and sort driving lessons. Said lessons have yet to actually be booked - that will have to wait till next month - but I finally feel I'm making some headway on this front. I'm just hoping I don't make an arse of it.

But yeah - next year I have no plans.

Cancer is Cruel

So a mere couple of weeks after going back to Glasgow, following my summer holidays, I'm back in Shetland again. Not entirely by choice, and certainly not in good circumstances.

My lovely granddad, Peter - well, not biologically but certainly in every other way for as long as I remember - had been suffering from hip pains when I left. On Tuesday, less than a week after I'd left, he was in Aberdeen Royal Infirmary, having been diagnosed with lung cancer which had spread to his bones. The doctors hoped they could treat it, but it was clear from the outset that this would only be to slow it rather than cure it. However, on Saturday morning my mam phoned me at work to tell me he'd taken a bad turn in the night and passed away. He was 61.

As you can imagine, my heart is utterly broken. He'd been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember, having married my granny when I was a toddler and the two of them being together until her death in 2001, and even after his eventual remarriage last year. And now I've started this entry yet still don't feel I can say everything I want to.

I've been in Shetland since Friday and the funeral was Saturday, and tomorrow I'll be back to Glasgow and trying to adjust to the fact that I'll never see him again.

Things to look forward to

Too often lately I've found myself in the depths of despair for no apparent reason other than it just being how it is.

I think a lot of it's due to physical exhaustion more than anything else, but I guess I'm just unhappy with a lot of life in general. As I've said to so many people on so many occasions, I didn't spend four years at university to do a menial job like the one I'm currently in. I'm also spending too much time alone, and what doesn't help is that so many people in my life are leaving for newer pastures. I find myself wondering if perhaps I should join them.

There's also been a long point of having little to look forward to. Now that the Tom Petty gig has been and gone, and both the weddings / trips home have been and gone, it's back to the grind for now. Back to being alone with my thoughts, dreams and physical possessions, back to working that shit menial job in order to survive, back to life, back to reality. Nothing concrete.

Therefore, I've decided - it's high time I try and get driving lessons.

At seventeen I was so excited that I was finally old enough to learn to drive. I bounded down to my local post office, collected my form and filled it out. Sure enough, that little mint green card with embossed gold DVLA holograms across it turned up in the post a day or so before my actual birthday, complete with one of the nicer passport photos taken of me over the years and along with its paper counterpart.

However, my parents never got round to putting me on the insurance until nearly 10 months later - by which time I was concentrating on finishing my final year of high school, saving what little money I had for university (although I wasn't entirely sure if I was going by that stage) and just generally not thinking of driving lessons at all. The little green card sat in my wallet for most of that time and was eventually used as ID for buying alcohol when I hit my 18th birthday (it was less bulky to carry around than my passport), eventually being overshadowed for this purpose by my student card (unless in the event of buying alcohol in a supermarket as a lot of them were a bit funny about student cards - then again, mine had my date of birth on it but no hologram).

As time went on, I forgot about driving. Even if I'd bothered to learn as a student I wouldn't have been able to afford to buy a car, never mind run one. During this time, the paper counterpart licence sat on the desk in mine and my sister's bedroom in my childhood home in Shetland - as it had no photo on it, I had no use for it, and because it was there I couldn't book driving lessons in Glasgow anyway. Eventually it vanished - mam and sister insist they never touched it, but if so then its disappearance is a mystery.

Then came graduation in 2010. I spent much of my time applying for work. I discovered that, to many employers - and particularly in the media industry, a lesser thing that killed my journalism dreams - prospective job candidates looked much better in pink than in green. I soon found that, when it comes to job hunts, few things are more irritating than finding a job that you tick most of the boxes for, only for the criteria to then end with '...must have full, clean drivers' licence and own transport'. Apparently telling them you're currently taking lessons can sometimes work. But given that even transportation to / from my current Paid Job is proving problematic due to the recent restructure (did I mention PLEASE SOMEONE HIRE MEEEEE) I feel it would only be sensible to learn to drive now. However, due to my paper licence being completely lost I now have to send off for a replacement - to to the tune of £20 (although this is cheaper than the £50 I was initially told it would cost). Have also decided to get my current address put on it too. As soon as this is done I will sort lessons. Been shopping around for deals, most folk seem to be recommending the AA.

Admittedly it will be probably be some time before I can afford a car, but there we have it...at least it'll look good on my CV, hey?

On jobhunts and homesickness

At the present moment, I have decided to dinghy the possibility of a post grad.

I was on holiday at home for the last couple of weeks, and while I was there a statement arrived from the Student Loans Company. Seems the interest on my as yet unpaid loan has now raised it to the tune of nearly £14,000. This, on top of an overdraft that has yet to be paid off in full, is putting me off the prospect of getting into any more debt than I presently need. I don't think I want to wait another 23 years to have it written off. I might just need to start buying lottery tickets...hell, it might happen!

Yeah, I was at home for a family wedding, and after that I barely realised just how little time I had. And also how homesick I was at the thought of leaving. I'm feeling a little better now that I'm actually in Glasgow, but I wish my trip to the homestead could have lasted a little longer. I still don't think I'd ever go back full time, though. Maybe just for a few weeks, until I got bored. Think I'll always need to be back in the city, even if the career isn't going right.

Speaking of which - I found no less than SEVEN jobs to apply for. Seven. In the space of a fortnight. Five were in Glasgow, one in Manchester and one in London (yes, I resorted to that). I've been knocked back for one so far, have yet to hear about the rest. But you just never know...

Weighing up a post grad

So yeah...as I've probably made pretty clear in a lot of posts on this thing, job hunting in this climate is proving particularly fruitless.

I've spent the last two years in that Paid Job, with no permanent contract, and even though there is a massive big restructure going on that's involving numerous people being demoted / promoted / taking severance pay / retiring and so forth, I've still had no hint from the management of the possibility of a permanent contract with them. Then again, it's been two years. They probably think I AM permanently employed with them. I was assured by the team leader who trained me up when I was first taken on that it was unlikely I'd ever get laid off even though I was only meant to have been there for the summer. He said he'd been employed on a temporary six month contract 12 years ago (at that point) and was now in a reasonably senior position. Seemingly that's how they do things. They didn't even do that with me. I've signed nothing with them, I'm merely on the roster and not entitled to a lot of things such as maternity pay or the same holiday entitlement as every other person there.

Needless to say, I'm getting sick of it. It would be nice to have a consistent wage, and indeed to be doing a job that's intellectually stimulating and where I'm being treated well by the management instead of messed about the whole time. It would also be nice not to dread going in for a shift every day, and to not have the constant feeling of opening myself up to so-called 'performance issues' all the time (I'm not even kidding, you can get disciplined for farting in that place if you'll pardon the expression), and finally to not get the feeling that I should have stayed at home. I'd always rather make less money to do a job I like instead of more money to do a job I hate (although if 'less money' is still enough to get by that helps too). Sounds mad, but only turning up to work for the sake of the money takes a toll on one's emotional wellbeing after a while. Or maybe I just need thicker skin.

Anyway, another thing I've been looking into lately is the option of post graduate study. But in some ways, trying to get into that is proving even worse.

See, the first hurdle I tend to fall at is that a lot of courses will not admit you with anything less than a 2:1, and I got a 2:2. Despite the huge misgivings I had about this mark when I first got it (due to apathy brought on by poor class choices), this is actually not a bad mark. In addition to my 2:2 I also do have a lot of practical experience, firstly from volunteering with the uni radio station and secondly from all the Cargo stuff. I've still had interest for interviews and whatnot, and I do hope this will eventually lead to work within a chosen sector (although I would like to avoid a move to London if possible - the rent is extortionate). However, for academic purposes very few consider it to be good enough.

Even then, the only possible subject I'd be up for is creative writing. Again, more problems:

1. The writing thing has been severely on the back burner for months now. I've had hardly any new, good ideas, and what I have had just ended up getting stymied by severe brain blockage. At one point I was even planning a sitcom about my work place (because believe me, if I repeated half the stories I bring in from work on here it would sound like a poor man's Fawlty Towers or similar), if only to keep my brain stimulated. But I need to rattle together a portfolio, and indeed a thesis, and to prove to myself that I can keep up a piece of writing and finish it. Thus I can capably complete a Masters.

2. But wait, I hear you cry. Wasn't your undergrad degree in creative writing? And if so, why do you want to go back for more of the same? Well, it's like this: note how 'creative writing' is written in lower case. Aye, it was tacked on as an afterthought to the whole course. It ended up being such a cop-out, if we hadn't had to focus on the 'journalism' (note the small 'j') on that course we'd have had time to focus on more varied types of writing. But no, didn't happen. And I feel if I did a post grad I'd have more of a chance to hone my skills.

3. What to do with it afterwards? Would it really be any more useful than the degree I have now?

I've thought also about doing linguistics, but again, not much you can do with it, and plus, there's the whole entry requirement problem for that too.

Oh well. I will read up on more of it tomorrow and apply then. Anything to get out of that job.

Trips Home Are Expensive

I get paid tomorrow and already my wages are more or less being spent.

After the usual expenses - rent, council tax and bills - there's the whole issue of food and getting to / from place to place (usually by train as that's the cheapest way). I'm only casually employed so I never have a set wage to make a proper monthly budget with.

This month I'm especially feeling the pinch because I'm due to head home for a friend's wedding. It's not that I don't want to go to said wedding, I very much do. But going back to Shetland is so expensive.

My usual means of travelling home is by getting a train (or, less likely, a bus - I hate them though, plus I have a railcard anyway) up to Aberdeen, which takes about 2.5 / 3 hours, followed by a 12-hour ferry from Aberdeen to Lerwick.

The ferry fares vary depending on the time of year, and are at their highest at what's considered to be 'peak' time. Obviously July - when I intend to travel home - falls under this category, because when I tried to get a rough idea of prices for booking to go home I was quoted a return fare of £120 to get a bed in a cabin. To go without said cabin is £70 cheaper. On top of this shall be a train fare, which will probably cost about £15 both ways.

Travelling by plane is dearer. I was once quoted £125 for a single flight up to Sumburgh from Glasgow. In both instances this was with islander discount applied.

I wish I knew how they get away with such daylight robbery. Oh well, slumming it home I guess. Wish me luck!

Some Upcoming Stuff

Cargo and Comma Press are hosting a short story reading on National Short Story day (June 20th), also the shortest night of the year. It will start at 7pm and is being held at Mono on King's Court. Full details are here. Valve Journal are publishing their second volume later this year, and will be holding an event with tasters of what will be published in it called 'Come Dine with Valve'. Details are here.

Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain...

So I've just had the best week I've had in a long, long time, and it's done so much for my morale that I'm gutted it has to end.

I've mentioned more than once that we'd got tickets to go and see Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at the Dublin O2, after deciding against going to the Isle of Wight festival. So, earlier this year I parted with £77 of my family bond (well, a little over that if you count having to fork over for passport photos - which I had to get done twice because the first set were awful even as far as passport photos go) to finally renew my passport, and was granted a week's paid holiday by my Paid Job.

I went to see them with my dad, brother and sister, and a couple of my dad's bandmates were there too (although they had seating tickets - which I don't envy them for in the slightest, given how close we ended up standing to the stage). After a day spent hanging out with dad, sis and dad's partner's daughter in Glasgow doing various things, we made our way to Prestwick and got a Ryanair flight to Dublin - a surprisingly hassle free experience given the poor things I've heard about them from various people. We then met in with the brother (who had flown over from Edinburgh) and, after a bus to the O2 to try unsuccessfully to collect our tickets in advance (box office didn't open until the doors did), we got the Luas back to where our apartment was.

Since we'd got an early morning flight, and we were all soaked from walking from the Luas station, sis and I went back to bed for a couple of hours. When we got up and dressed again, we went for a pub dinner before getting the Luas back to the Point Village to go to the gig. Again, we had to stand outside queueing for ages, in the rain. This makes me glad I downloaded the Kindle software back to my phone when I loaned my actual device to my mam, as it was something to keep me occupied briefly.

But eventually, the doors opened and we went in, picked up the tickets and made our way into the venue.

The venue, first of all, is stunning. Formerly known as the Point Theatre before O2 took it over, it holds a capacity of 14,500 both seated and standing (9,500 if all seating). We ended up near the front, and I still can't believe how close to the stage we ended up being.

Petty was supported on the European leg of the tour by a guy called Jonathan Wilson - who I thought could have been good, but for the obvious sound problems with his set. After he was done I made a mental note to dig him up on Spotify to see if I genuinely liked what I heard.

And then Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers took to the stage, and we all went nuts. How exciting to be standing only a few feet away from a guy who's been a genuine musical hero since I was really young. The set list was great, I genuinely cannot fault a single song choice. Last time I had a lump in my throat from a rock show was Paul McCartney nearly two years ago, it was incredible. (More details can be found here.)

The day after, still reeling from how amazing the gig was, my brother headed back to Edinburgh and my dad, sister and I spent the day in Dublin before flying back to Prestwick. We spent most of it wandering around, and in between we visited the Guinness factory. The admission included free Guinness. It genuinely tastes better in Ireland.

I would most definitely go back to Dublin again, but I'd need to save up - it was so expensive. But yeah - it was definitely worth going there for Tom Petty. I hope he doesn't leave it 20 years to tour Europe again, although I'd happily go to America to see him.

On another note, I hope this is the beginning of me blogging more frequently in future. 

Inertia

Update rate this year is going at the very slow pace of once a month. That's pretty bad really.

Nothing much to say though, just been applying for more work and still not getting anywhere.

Oh, and I'm going to see Tom Petty next week. I think I forgot to mention that I renewed my passport at last. Expensive, yes (I mean really - £77?! I know it's for ten years, but that still seems steep), but at least I don't have to think about it again any time soon - well, unless I get married in that time, but given the current state of my love life (by which I mean non existent) I don't think I have much to worry about on that front. Plus, it's one of those shiny new green-paged ones, and the photo on this one is much, much nicer than the one of me on my old one, from when I was 14 and in the early stages of what I like to call my 'ugly and angry' phase. Come to think of it, I wonder if that phase ever came to an end?

I will add more updates as I can think of them.

Country roads, take me home to the place I belong...

Sorry for the severe lack of updates lately.

It was my birthday a couple of Sundays ago (29th), but I didn't do much for it because I went home for the Folk Festival the following weekend. Being out of Glasgow for a bit did me some good - I've been a bit depressed recently, probably mainly job-related.

2 The Folk Festival was AWESOME, though. Highlight: Brother's band covering 'Bohemian Rhapsody' at the club during a late night gig. Told you it was good.

Weight loss update

In keeping with the general lack of updates to this poor blog so far this year, I've not mentioned much about weight loss efforts - or lack of them, even.

I fell massively by the wayside with swimming, mainly because of having to conserve funds for Christmas (should've made getting a membership my new year's resolution...oh well). The healthy eating also went south because I could never get near the kitchen in the previous place (but I will not divulge the details of this issue on a public blog). Then Christmas came and that was that - I piled a lot back on again.

I've taken baby steps to get fit again. For late shifts I usually walk to my nearest station, which is a good half hour usually (and that's supposed to be the daily minimum of exercise required I do believe). I am trying to swim a bit more often, but my nearest pool's a bit of a distance from me - then again, I have been known to walk up there as a warm-up, swim, then get the bus back. I've also been going on long rambles round the southside, from my end at the top of Queen's Park down to Pollokshaws Burgh Hall, then cutting back up through the smaller streets and making my way back up Kilmarnock Road and home. Not sure of the exact distance, but it must be a couple of miles at least.

Needless to say, I stopped updating the app on my phone with regards to food consumed, exercise being done and weight being lost. However, last night, while struggling to sleep I decided I would finally bite the bullet and weigh myself at long last.

When I'd last weighed myself, probably in about October or maybe November, I weighed 14st 2lbs. When I weighed myself last night, I was 13st exactly.

I know, I'm pretty gobsmacked as well. And I'm still not the weight I should be for my height. But hey - it's an improvement on my weight last year, which I think could have been anything up to seventeen stone (I'm actually ashamed I let it get that bad...*shudder*). It now also brings my BMI score to 29.37, meaning that I fall under the 'overweight' category as opposed to 'obese'.

I still have some way to go, though. I reckon I could lose a stone by August, when my cousin's wedding comes round. Ambitious I know, but I'm willing to try - I've come this far.

'Bring Me the Head of Ryan Giggs' Launch

I'm long overdue the chance to plug a literary event on here (even though I probably barely get enough traffic to justify it).

Basically, Rodge Glass, my ex-lecturer, current Cargo colleague, fellow southside resident and general all-round good guy, is launching his shiny new novel 'Bring Me the Head of Ryan Giggs' on April 4th at Mono in Glasgow at 7pm. Entry is free, drinks are reasonably priced (or they'll be cheaper than Edinburgh at least), and it'll just generally be awesome.

End plug.

Sunshine

For once, the nice weather in Glasgow has coincided with me having some days off from work. Not a bad thing, eh?

I'm getting back into swimming, but with the days being so nice I've not wanted to be cooped up in a building, so I've been doing a lot of walking. I've been walking from my flat all the way down to Pollok Park (which must be at least a good mile), then from there cutting up to Kilmarnock Road and back. It's been a good way to get an idea of my surroundings. It's weird, when I first moved to Glasgow from Shetland in 2006 I had a small pocket of the city centre that I never left. But now I'm so much braver - even though I'm still a bit of a naive country mouse at time - and as a result it feels like Glasgow gets a little bit smaller all the time.

I'm currently taking full advantage of Spotify to properly get into Iron and Wine's back catalogue. Not much else happening really.

'Hello everybody, I'm Dr Cheeks. I've been away for a while, so I'm a little behind.'

I decided probably one of my favourite ever Simpsons quotes deserved to be in here, because it is semi appropriate. I've not updated in too long.

Well, to be honest, it has mostly been due to the issue with the laptop. However, this has been rectified and I now have a shiny new Samsung. Hooray!

This long absence from the blogosphere (god, my journalism theory lecturer would be proud of me using that word) means that I've not updated about something really, really important that happened to me lately: namely that I've moved again.

I know, I could put a gypsy to shame. But the west end situation didn't work out, and so, after looking into costs, I decided I could afford a reasonably spacious flat all to myself in Strathbungo (or so the letting agents told me...everyone else says I'm in Govanhill, but you've got to admit Strathbungo sounds a lot nicer. The Paid Job colleagues mercilessly take the piss out of me for this). I'd been wanting to come down to this end for sometime to be honest - it's cheaper, the arts scene in Glasgow seems to be migrating down here (and fair enough), it's actually better connected transport wise...I could go on. But mainly I could afford my own place, and after the experience with my last place I appreciate it muchly. It's not cheap, but it's still awesome.

Anyway...so we at Cargo recently held the Margins Festival, which went amazingly well. There's a restructure going on at my Paid Job, which makes me feel like they're trying to push me out, and...well, I can't think of much else. All I can say is, for the most part, I'm a lot happier than I've been in some time.

Happy New Year :)

So...belated first blog post of 2012! Again, I have some year lined up...

To begin with, we at Cargo have just announced the lineup for the Margins Book and Music Festival, now in its second year. The events will happen between 24th-26th February, and tickets can either be bought for individual events or a pass for the full weekend can be purchased.

The second edition of Valve Journal will also be published later this year. Submissions can be made via the website.