I'm down upon my knees, looking for my life...

So yeah...pressure is getting to me again.

I've still not found a Proper Grown Up Job to step into following the end of uni yet. As thus I have not started looking for a flat either. I am finally getting around to applying to publishing houses in Edinburgh asking if they want / need interns. It's getting desperate though. Gonna have to look outside the 'proper high-flying graduate job' box soon.

I wonder if it's my course. Those of you who know me well will know that we had a very public falling-out with our department over the way they taught our course. It was...questionable, to say the least. The course was supposed to be 'Journalism and Creative Writing'. However, it became 'journalism and creative writing'. Note the lack of caps in there. This is because they taught little of either. I would say that what we got was more of a thinly-disguised media studies course, mostly sociological rather than journalistic. We would talk about journalism. How other people wrote it, and what could and couldn't be considered journalism. Blogs, for instance. I don't consider this to be journalism, personally. Sure, a few major events have appeared in it since I opened it up in February, but I wouldn't say it's journalism. It's just me chipping in my two penn'orth on something I care / feel strongly about. There's a pretty big difference. I'd never consider myself a journalist, but that's a whole other point. It's not that the two subjects weren't taught at all - they were, of course, there's no way the department would have gotten away with that. And when they were taught, they were taught wonderfully and we learned a lot from them. They were just not taught frequently enough to justify titling the course as such.

Anyway yeah - the course previously had accreditation from the NCTJ, which was removed because, guess what, they weren't devoting enough time to real journalism. We complained loudly about this but were mainly ignored, and they basically ended up giving us a useless course. See, I can understand why we need to know research but there's no point learning it if we don't get an opportunity to put it into practise. But yes - the nub of my gist is that I have very few skills with which to get a good job. Yes, my main ambition is to write someday. But until then I need something to stay afloat. And my course has probably gotten a really poor reputation following all these losses...think I'm screwed.

Thought of the day:

Am I the only one in my circle who isn't getting married or pregnant?

My Bucket List

Just now, I've been compiling a bucket list. As in, that list of things I want to do before I die. Don't worry, I'm not going to die any time soon. I just dreamt this up out of boredom.

To begin at the beginning...before I die, I'd like to do the following, in no particular order:

Get published

You saw this one coming! Well, writing's the only thing I've ever been any good at really - or so I see it. As long as I can come up with a good idea and convince someone to publish it I'll be okay. I guess I'll have to be optimistic - or someone will have to be anyway XD

Go back to America

Well...actually, I've already been there. The first time was in 1991, aged 3, when my family and I went to New York to see my mam's pal who lives there. The next was in 2002, aged 14, when we went to Colorado with one of the local music groups. Both fun, but I desperately want to go to California - just cause it's so warm there. Probably not as shiny and romantic as it's made out to be by the media, but it's warm. Or to New York again, maybe Florida. Any of those would be lovely :D

Go back to Japan

I'm pretty sure I mentioned I'd been before, right? Well, that time I went to Towa-cho, a small town in the Iwate province (near the towns of Hanamaki and Morioka). And that was nice (despite my friend Evonne and I seemingly getting racially abused by some random old geezer on the streets of Morioka). But I think next time I go, I should like to go to one of the main cities, i.e. Tokyo or Osaka. I still have the Rough Guide to Japan Mam bought me when I went over there, I'll flick through it and see what else I fancy.

Go back to Australia

Yeah, I've been here too! Just before we - that is, the group of students I was with - went to Japan, we went to Australia (although via Tokyo Narita airport). We started in Brisbane and then went to Sydney, although I have to admit I much preferred the former. I'd happily go back to Brisbane in a heartbeat, if I could afford it. So warm, even in winter.

Visit some more of Europe

Lot of travel plans, huh? Yeah...I've been to a couple of other bits of Europe. I've been to Norway, France, Belgium and Spain (twice). I'd like to see more of it, though. For one thing, I learned German at school but I've never actually been to Germany or any other German-speaking country (I know they're only limited to Europe though). I'd also like to go to Italy, Poland and Sweden, and maybe back to France and Spain again.

Get back into acting

For eight years while I lived in Shetland I was a member of Splinters Youth Theatre, a local drama group. I wasn't actually too bad at acting if I do say so myself. One of the things that attracted me to the university I'm attending was the theatre group there. I joined in first year, then did nothing more with my membership for the whole year, then it expired and I never renewed it. When I graduate I intend to rejoin, or perhaps join another theatre group in the city (there are plenty more!). I had more confidence when I was acting.

Take up an instrument - or several

Actually, I do play stuff. I'm very musical. While at school I played cello, although my old teacher in high school was incredibly unencouraging because I was so useless at sight reading. I play guitar as well, but I've not played in ages because of having other things to do. I should really play instead of mucking around online all the time. I sing too, but again my voice gets little exercise beyond either the shower in the morning or when I'm blaring music off my iTunes library during *cof* study. I'd love to be able to play fiddle or viola, and drums. Maybe piano too. And...what else did I fancy playing? I'd like to play harp. Yeah, that would be epic. On that note, forming a band would be fun too.

See all my favourite bands who are still around live in concert

I think this one's pretty self-explanatory - although I've seen both RHCP (back when Frusciante was still in the fold...ah) and Franz Ferdinand live twice each. I'd love to see the Foos again :)

Get married and have children

Again, shouldn't need to explain this one too much.

Settle in Glasgow

Or this one.

And there we have it.