Homesickness

I haven't been back in Shetland in eight months nearly, and this bothers me.

See, yes, those of you who know me know that I'm always complaining about how awful living on the island is. It wasn't always like that. When I was a kid I liked living there. It was nice to live somewhere that seemed relatively quiet. Plus, younger me wasn't too big on having wild nights out - partially because I didn't identify with those who were. My ideal weekend was spent with my granny, playing Scrabble and eating jam sandwiches. Might sound boring to you, but it wasn't - and still isn't - to me.

Then came the big move to Glasgow, when I gained my place at one of the main unis in the city (I've been here before, I know). I didn't cope with the new surroundings at first. I drove my first year flatmates up the wall, always getting stroppy and being homesick. I remember the relief of the five weeks' holiday I got that year.

A few things changed over the two summers I was at home while being at uni. In the first summer, a lot of changes occurred in my personal life. I won't go into them, because I still feel sort of angry and hurt over everything that happened. But as time went on, I found myself far preferring my adopted hometown, the general company I keep there, and...well, need I say more? I got bored easily with the island. I still liked going to my granny's, and it was nice to get a bit of peace and quiet sometimes. But I felt trapped living at home, and things just never seemed to change where I lived. The same folk I'd gone to school with drank in the pubs with the same folk they'd always drank in the pubs with, every weekend. Again, nothing changed. I couldn't live like that, live with that repetition.

At the same time, though, I still maintain that there are things I miss about the place. I miss decent chicken suppers. I miss the fresh sea air - even now I still get a hankering to walk around the pier in Lerwick and just inhale it. I'm miles away from sea down here - I suppose when / if the weather improves I'll just have to sojourn out to Largs or somewhere like that for a day and take it in. But it won't be the same.

Plus - sometimes it does a body good to be a little bit cut off from everything. I guess going home and being cut off from civilisation does keep my relationship with the city fresh. But at the same time, I kind of miss being home for a few reasons. I hope I can book a trip sometime soon.